This morning I was reading Jiddu Krishnamurthy and his take on why one must discover oneself first to be able to connect with everyone else. It was sheer poetry of thought. He mesmerizes me with his clarity of thought, and sense of purpose of who he is, and what we can become. Amazing!! If you are one of those who has some level of self-love, you must read this.
If you are one of those who looks for “realistic” words, then reading JK needs some effort. On the other hand, he appeals to those who love those metaphors, can sift through them and raise the bar on meaning and quotient of the purpose of it.
The article reminded me of an acquaintance. A year or so back, this acquaintance of mine who wanted to get into the DMK’s youth wing or get elected for their district youth elections (or some such thing, I really don’t remember what it was with that large organizational behemoth called DMK – there always is some strife or the other for the individual there…all supposedly for the cause of “democracy”).
He FBed that he didn’t get selected, and said that he was disappointed. He made sure all his party friends on FB knew about it, because he felt somebody close to him was working against him in the party! He said that he wanted to do some good for the society, and that it was thwarted. I responded with my plain talk, ”Why should you be part of a party to do good for the society? You can always do your bit, in your individual capacity as a good citizen. Who’s stopping you? “ He obviously didn’t respond, and I guess he didn’t like me after that.
But, I understand his disappointment. He is a second-generation party follower. And he believes that he’ll achieve great heights in the party, which his father didn’t. And for all people like him, thinking about any other party or organization as a platform to identify themselves is like getting into an inter-caste marriage, knowing that you can lose your identity or get your ego destroyed in identity clashes.
The truth is, it’s always about the ego. Not about the soul.
This ego goads you to create own path if you believe in yourself. The same ego goads you to find comfort in groups, if you are unsure of yourself. We all see-saw between these two attitudes of the mammoth in us called the “ego.”
Most of us find comfort in numbers. We like to be part of a group, and once we are part of it, we like to believe that the work we do is worth its while for the group. If our ego is not satisfied with the recognition we seek within this larger group, then we start forming groups within that group. Again we seek recognition there. No recognition? Form another group. The funny part is, everyone within that group feels exactly the same way as this one disgruntled person feels. This vicious cycle goes on.
In the meantime, life expands and runs away before our own eyes. And then we look at the dry patch we created. We’ve not connected with our families. We’re strangers to our own children. Our parents watch us lovingly in our old press clippings which we got published with much effort and spend. We don’t know how to sit and talk to any of these people, and we called ourselves “public servants.” We are scared of any form of honesty – with us, about us, to us. We just don’t want to listen to anybody because we know our patch is dry.
We then want to deny the fact that our patch is dry. We go about perpetuating what we think is our identity, when we really don’t know what we are. We’ve created a myth about ourselves, a virtual reality and we’ve got everyone to believe that scene. And we’ve begun to believe it ourselves.
And somewhere down the line, we get tired of everything. Then we resort to manipulation. We justify the manipulation, because as frail old people, we know there is nothing more we can do. We call that experience, “wisdom.” We even get a few other old people to clap-clap our supposed wisdom. There is comfort in numbers. But our soul knows the truth.
The hunger for recognition, that bottomless ego engulfs us all our lives and finally when give it all up one day, that fine moment we move to another plane.
A plane called a new life. A new body. A new vision. A new YOU.
The same old soul, still yearning to find its purpose.
The same old ego with the potential of a different packaging, in this new life.
It’s one more patch of life. Make it selfless. Make it worth it – For others. Your ego will be satisfied.
Your soul will smile at you, once again.
Gomathi Karri Reddy 