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Life Is Impressive September 29, 2011

Posted by Gomathi Reddy in Desi Indian, Personal, Relationships, Women and Children.
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Impressive!  Ha, that’s how I’d call my survival these days.

What was a weary body with a weary mind, a few months back, is slowly, yet steadily beginning to look up.

I’m managing to go through my days with less and less of tears, and more and more of reasoning and smiles. In my defense I often pat myself with “I have a brave heart” kind of monologue – sometimes it just gets longer, but somehow manages to have the same meaning!!

Everyday I begin with some silent prayers, staring at the empty walls of my almost lifeless home.  And I don’t break down.  That’s a big relief – to the walls and to me! To bring more life into my home, I’ve started buying little potted plants – one a day. Soon my home will look like a nursery.

Everyday, I am beginning to pardon and let go negative thoughts of all those who peeved me for years, months, weeks and days – right from strangers and the larger family, to that one man who damaged it all for me.

I’ve started working long hours again and ‘am not getting tired, though I am not carrying work home – That’s an improvement.  I am getting better at managing my time and deliverables. And I’ve slowly stopped feeling like that over-stressed executive who goes to a vacation and still can’t relax.

I am not chewing off my fingers, if my son doesn’t call at the destined hour of the day. Yes, I am concerned about his apprehensions at his boarding school, yet I am trying hard not to rub off my anxieties on him.  I’m telling myself that he’ll get over it and he’ll find a way to survive “situations” – After all he’s my son!   That’s again not just me – I normally would’ve dashed to his school the very next hour, with angst.

I am thankful to all my school mates who somehow managed to track me after almost 2 decades….and each one was vying with one another to help me see the better part of life. And so is my English teacher – someone who is as vulnerable as I am, yet stronger by many shades, than what I could aspire to be – Sarala teacher…then my gang of friends, Radhika, Radha, Asha, Gayathri, SriVidya, Vidya, Anita, Jayalatha, Jayshree, Saras, Chitra, Usha…I don’t know if I can ever return their love in the same measure.

At work…I asked one of my first few employees to come back when we can afford to have people who can’t deliver – very politely, very firmly.  Hmm…I am beginning to sound like a business person who means business – Normally, I would’ve put up and would’ve ended up doing all that he/she is supposed to be executing.

Work is challenging, exciting.  Despite many bottle-necks and limitations, I am able to see those myriad opportunities. Day-by-day, I’m becoming more conscious and positive about my strengths. It’s an awesome feeling.

I’ve begun to appreciate that one soul, all the more, for having helped me reach where I am; for that faith in my ability to gather my self-esteem – It’s like having my parents back with me.  I’ve never experienced so much gratitude all my life.

I’ve just begun to pardon myself for allowing so much negativity into my life, in the first place –  That seems to be the most difficult part, and it may take a long time to get over.

In this impressive phase of my life, wish me and my son good luck – We need it all.

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Comments»

1. asha - September 30, 2011

Gomes, way to go…life has its own winding pathways and some blind curves and bends destiny always gives u some pleasant surprises in those bends where our friends wait .we learn lessons from each other. Smile ur blues u r the chosen one as u have a great strength in u. Sure ur mom and dad are watching u and happy to c ur smile

Gomathi Reddy - September 30, 2011

Hey Asha,
There is no better time than NOW, to have got you all back into my life! Thanks so much!
Hugs,

2. asha - September 30, 2011

Good luck to ur littleone and u. He wii def make u proud. Glad we are all together again to share our thoughts and feelings. I wish u lots of good luck, smiles and laughter. Keep doing ur good work. U have a great potential in u, and let the world know you can do it….the best is yet to be…keep it up

.

Gomathi Reddy - September 30, 2011

Smiles and Hugs…Will pass on your words to Prannay, when I meet him today. Thanks so much. 🙂 🙂

3. Tharani - September 30, 2011

Iam sending you loads of hugs and positive vibes. Take care!
Good luck to you and your son..

Gomathi Reddy - September 30, 2011

Thank you so much Tharini. Good to see you here. Hugs returned in equal measure 🙂

4. Thangamuthu - September 30, 2011

You have a way to write, Gomathi! You could emote the feelings so naturally that they come alive and we can almost feel them. I am pretty confident that you will work your way to have a positive, happy and beautiful life. Cheers!

Thangamuthu

Gomathi Reddy - September 30, 2011

Thank you so much, Sir. 🙂

5. Bhaskara Rami Reddy - September 30, 2011

My Best wishes to you. Life is very short and complex. All I can say is don’t let negative thoughts invade you.keep up the positive spirit. Look at the green plants, see how they are smiling. Look at the standstill walls and see how they protect you from outsiders. Look at your inner soul and see how it is directing you in right path.

All the best.

Gomathi Reddy - October 3, 2011

Thank you very much for your thoughts. 🙂


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