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For a Wonderful Day Ahead July 9, 2011

Posted by Gomathi Reddy in Desi Indian, Love and Life, Personal, Women and Children.
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My breaks are becoming longer than my blog posts, but my web stats give me the much needed smiles, though.  Thank you all PEOPLE(including spammers), who still log in to find if there is something new up here.

Life Is Wonderful

This morning I woke up with my morning blues, all intact, wondering and pondering over the purpose of this life – I mean my life!  With my son gone to a boarding school, my marital life in a mess, my professional life looking up, my health getting better, I find that my service provider is the only one wanting to text me, my soul-mate is in as much of a fix as I am and the occasional call keeps me guessing as to which side of the phone has a dead voice ringing and my quirky list of to-dos keep getting longer…In this background, I was wondering what is that I want out of my life.

Suddenly I felt like Gandhi and Vivekananda with shades of Don Vito Corleone all rolled into one, trying to answer a seemingly difficult question  – Don’t ask me why I feel like all these MEN…well that’s how I feel now!

And I didn’t want to get ambivalent about this question in my mind, because at this stage of my life it sounds like it is an important one to answer.  I didn’t think much (or maybe I did) and I just knelt down and cried – as tears flowed down, I bent down to offer my prayers for what looked like an eternity.  I think I forgot to get out of my silence (or was that prayer?) In that silence I was trying to answer my most difficult question – what is that I want out of my life? What is my purpose of being here?

# 1 Do I want to be a writer?  Why do I want to be a writer – to just write? To become famous like Rowling? To get millions of readers to read?  (bah!! That sounds improbable) To just share my stories ? To get criticized for bad writing (how stupid!) To just express my heart? (A journal will do, why publish and bother others?)

# 2 Do I want to be a successful business person in the realm of learning space?  What is success?  Why do I need success?  What am I trying to prove, to whom? Beyond my meager interests in chasing off-beat interests, nothing seems more indulging, more satisfying!

# 3 I am meant to do something.  I was created for delivering some value to this earth.  I must deliver that – I must continue my search of what it is that I can deliver.  Oh, come off it and stop sounding like you are lost again!!

# 4 I want to be free from all that is binding me to a mundane life – Well this sounds worth your time.

# 5 I want to go back to my guitar classes – Good!

# 6 I want to go back to the Russian consulate to pick up my Russian again, so that I can watch those lovely romantic movies, in the pretext of learning something in context.  I wouldn’t mind a trip to Russia or some part of erstwhile USSR – Better!

# 7 I want to take a break to some quaint little village in the Himalayas.  I saw this wonderful site called http://www.connectwithhimalaya.com/ and fell in love with their travel packages.  I want to give it a try –  You are beginning to sound civilized!

# 8 I want to spend time with my loved ones, peacefully, without the anxiety of running out of time(that invariably makes me feel like I am on parole!)  But where have they all gone?  – Great!

And then, it happenend…”Just go complete your deliverables.  NOW!!”

”Just go complete your deliverables.  NOW!!”

”Just go complete your deliverables, stupid.  NOW!!”

”Just go complete your deliverables, stupid.  NOW!!”

That is the only voice banging my head for a couple of hours, now!  – PERFECT!

Now I know what I want to do.

Get back to work and keep up my commitments, believe in myself, work on my list and in the meantime enjoy what comes my way, smile at everyone who is nice to me, and try my best to smash all those who get in my way to achieving my laudable goals!!  (Now I know why I feel like the Don.)

Great!!  I feel good!!

I am wishing myself a wonderful day ahead, and a superb one for you too (even if you are reading it late in the night).

Dos vidaniya!! (That’s Russian for “bye.”)

 ** Image may be subject to copyright restrictions

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Comments»

1. Bhaskara Rami Redd - July 9, 2011

Not sure my comment published or not, so again one more smiley 🙂

2. gabmsn - July 11, 2011

Thank you for this wonderful post.

3. Day of biggest regret and the day after « Gabriela's Thoughts about everything, anything and nothing - July 11, 2011

[…] Today I read this post and my day became better: Gomathi Reddy […]

Gomathi Reddy - July 11, 2011

I am so glad to hear that! 🙂

4. paddy - July 11, 2011

Typical monday blues I thought ( as I read this on mon) but it now turns out that ‘t was a ‘weekend reflection’. In case you find a better answer to your ‘quest’ of pupose in life, pl share it in this forum. There will be a queue lining up in front of your house…
Incidentally I understood last week from a lecture that the only way to find ‘happiness’ or ‘meaning ‘ in life is to unshackle us from self-centricity and do something/ be of some value to others – family, community, society..and Humanity.
Nobody disputes that.. we all know , dont we ?
🙂

Gomathi Reddy - July 11, 2011

Thank you Paddy. 🙂 But I think my problems stem from my basic tendency of taking the “happiness” philosophy, as referred by you, a bit too seriously! 🙂


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