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Funny? Me? August 13, 2010

Posted by Gomathi Reddy in Desi Indian, General, Love and Life, Personal, Women and Children.
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12 August, 11:45 pm

Someone I know, told me this morning – “Hey, you are an incredibly serious and intelligent person.  I keep reading your blog.”  I  managed to look up from the magazine that was preaching about “how to hook your partner” managed to give him one of my oh-so-funny looks and blurted, “a…huh…what?”

As I looked up, I think I peered into something, that looked like a guy who forgot to change his night pyjamas, somehow managed to walk into an office, with a tie that looked out-of-place on night wear! He was apparently trying to be nice to me, because Indian women (read Bharatiya Naaris) like to believe that they are not flirtatious and are worthy of being put up on a pedestal – for what? For receiving those audacious prayers of being the epitome of womanhood, intelligence and what not of course! Some middle-class value, this!

“I am not one of those,” I wanted to scream – but I had better things lined up for the day, than to get certified by a cocker spaniel in pyjamas.. I put that book down, managed to smile at him, and walked past him.  The only thought at that moment in my head was, why do all women’s magazines sell so many products, that if you eventually buy, you will end up looking like a mobile vanity bazaar, whose only purpose in life is to “hook your next partner.”

Thankfully the language has changed from “hooking your husband” to “hooking your NEXT partner” –  thanks to globalization of Indian values.  But the “hooking” part remains, as if we are wired to believe that the very purpose of a woman lies in being a good angler of men. But I always thought, “hooking up” is a man-thing roughly translating to a “one-night stand” – and was wondering why would they use it from a woman’s perspective, when all she wants is a loving relationship.  Something must be wrong with my English! I don’t seem to understand even the basic language and its semantics of use, toward building a relationship.  “Grow up with the times, lady,” I wanted to scream at myself.

I threw that article out of my mind, to get back to my laptop.  An e-mail from my cousin sent me down the memory lane, as she had scanned and uploaded some of our photographs together, so many summers back, with notes to the boot.  I was in splits, as I read her comments – one said, “None of the guys look at me when you are by my side,”  The next one, “What toothpaste do you use, for that flashy smile?” and the third one reads, “I never seem to grow up,” as she gestures our difference in height.  Today, she is a successful art critic, a mother and a disappointed woman with her personal life.

When we met last month, after almost a decade, we were back to our chirpy best, giggling and laughing over yesteryears and were very much the same cousins that we grew up together.  Nothing has changed, despite our respective challenges in life.  Finally, as we bid adieu for the day, she said, “You have not changed a bit – and your ringing laughter is still the same.” I wanted to tell her, “Life is not about passing milestones measured as age.  It is about, whom you are sharing your moments with.”   But, I didn’t.  We smiled, hugged and promised to make time for each other, the next week.

I wanted to e-mail her about this tie-wound-pyjama-clad cocker spaniel whom I had bumped into this morning, and who resembled that  funny-helmet-touting-craggy-frog we both had a laugh over, a few years back.  But I reserved it as an entertainment filler, for our next meeting, as if I may not have anything worthy to laugh about.

And I smiled, at how serious I have become.



1. Jonelle Hribar - April 3, 2011

Have you ever considered publishing an ebook or guest authoring on other sites? I have a blog based upon on the same topics you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my visitors would appreciate your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e mail.

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